Giving & Receiving
Today we take an unflinching look at a topic that is often discussed, but usually only in a fringe way—a topic that is becoming more and more prevalent as Baby Boomers (the largest segment of society for decades) move into a new phase of life, the phase of requiring care.
The caregiver and care receiver relationship is an intense and intimate interaction that calls for selflessness, humility, and trust. It can be an overwhelming and relentless undertaking that demands of the participants more than they think they can handle. But there's more to it than that.
For the Caregiver:
- Providing care can instill a profound sense of purpose and meaning in the caregiver's life, knowing they are directly contributing to the well-being of someone in need
- Caregivers often develop increased patience, empathy, resilience, and problem-solving skills as they navigate the complexities of providing care. These lessons can be hard-won and accompanied by torrents of tears
- Witnessing the vulnerabilities of the care receiver can lead to a greater appreciation for the caregiver's own health and wellbeing. It can help them better plan for their own future
- To be sure, the caregiving experience offers new perspectives on life, aging, and the importance of human connection
For the Care recipient:
- Immense gratitude and humility are generally part of the care recipient experience to those who attend to their physical, emotional, and medical needs. This assistance enables them not only to maintain their health, but their quality of life. At the same time, there can be resistance and anger over the fact the recipient is no longer manage their own needs.
- If care is provided in a familiar setting (such as their own home), the care receiver has the opportunity to enjoy the things they love while maintaining a sense of independence and dignity. This goes a long way to keep the giver-receiver relationship healthy and amicable
- Caregivers who are close to the recipient can tailor their support to the individual's specific needs, preferences, and routines. They organically alleviate feelings of loneliness and isolation by providing companionship and emotional support. Being cared for by someone you know and trust generally provides a greater sense of security and peace of mind. At the same time, close friends and family are often not equipped or available to give care. This can cause immense stress on the part of the caregiver and the members of their own household. Balance is key to the success of the caregiving work if both receiver and giver are to benefit in a sustainable way.
Both parties have the opportunity to deepen their bond and appreciation of one another. Even amidst challenges, caregivers and care receivers can share moments of quality connection, laughter, and love.
While caregiving presents significant demands, there is no denying that the relationship between the caregiver and care receiver can be a source of profound value and mutual benefit. The dedicated time spent together during caregiving has repaired broken relationships and fostered new-found respect and affection for both parties. In my book, caregivers are heroes, and they deserve to be treated as such.
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Your action prompt is to show thanks to a caregiver for their incomparable efforts and selflessness. If you yourself are a caregiver, stop and give yourself some kindness and appreciation for the herculean task you’ve taken on. Hospital staff, dedicated and loving as they are, can’t replicate the care given by a family member or loved one. Caregivers need and deserve support in every way imaginable. Let’s find a way to lessen their load.
There are only four kinds of people in the world.
Those who have been caregivers.
Those who are currently caregivers.
Those who will be caregivers, and those who will need a caregiver.
—Rosalynn Carter